|
 From "fuck, YES!" by Reverend Wing F. Fing M.D., Ph.D., D.D.S., L.L.D., D.V.D., and much, much more!:
Say Yes To Higher Education
It is true that almost all of us have some schooling. But some fortunate men and women have the foresight and intelligence to get high-powered educations for themselves. For years they study at universities and colleges until they are rewarded with advanced degrees. Afterwards, these educated people are given exciting, challenging, and high-paying jobs. They get to be doctors, lawyers, dentists, engineers, architects, presidents, sex therapists, and the Pope. Look at the great money they make:
20 thousand
30 thousand
50 thousand
90 thousand
100 thousand
and even more.
Did you ever get jealous about this? Did you ever say, "Why them instead of me?"
Perhaps you did.
I certainly did.
I used to say, "Why do other people get to be president instead of me? I could do it."
The reason, of course, is that these other people stayed in school and received diplomas, degrees, sheepskins, and Certificates of Achievement, while I, and perhaps you, too, abandoned education early to work on our surfing.
(Ah, the wonderful courage of youth, how beautiful it is!)
But let us ask ourselves this: is it possible for a person to catch up with their lost education?
Yes!
Can a person who has passed beyond school age still obtain advanced degrees, diplomas, and Certificates of Achievement?
Yes!
How?
Steal them.
That's what I do. Schooling, of course, takes time. And yet life is so short. Is it any fun to sit in a stuffy classroom hour after hour, year after year...?
Yes, it is fun.
...exam after God-awful exam. Studying, cramming, writing term papers, and answering multiple choice questions by going eeny-meany-miney-mo...?
Yes, it's lots of fun.
...eating strange cafeteria food: carrot and raisin salad lying dead in yellow mayonnaise; eating gray meat from some unknown animal; staring at yellow-green Brussels sprouts left over from last term?
What could be more fun?
Herpes.
Going Bankrupt.
Oral surgery.
So, if there are things you desire more than than sitting endlessly in classrooms and libraries, broadening your mind and rear end, then I want to suggest you do them. But if you also hunger to take an advanced university degree or two, then I say take them. Take them from doctors' offices, lawyers' offices, dentists' offices. Remember that whatever college degree you want, someone has already done the school work for it, and is displaying it on their office wall. They already have the education, why should they have the diploma, too?
That's what I say.
Let them have the education, you take the diploma.
That's what I've done.
Many times.
-----
Legal Notice: Templar University does not condone stealing Ph.Ds or any other certificate from their rightful owners. But why bother when you can get one here? We hope that Dr. Wing F. Fing would approve and find it nearly as fun as stealing them.
|
|
